The first 20-25 years are safely behind you. Work sucks, but sometimes it's great. Credit cards are now a bizarre kind of lifeline but the bills are like terrorist sleeper cells - just waiting to jump out of the monthly envelope and scare you half to death.

Your taste is changing. The PlayStation might be hidden beneath the Sunday Times. Or, for the first time ever, you may be seriously considering buying something - not a whole outfit, but something - at Talbots.

Identities are up for grabs. Questions are being raised.

If you're Jewish, you probably have parents, siblings, Rabbis, extended family, teachers, mohels, neighbors, their doctors and their lawyers giving you all the answers you could ever want.

But you have to find your own answers and that's the way it should be. Why are you here? Your response to that question can make you righteous or criminal, content or miserable.

Luckily, your answer is tucked away neatly in a part of your brain that you haven't filled up or killed off. So how do you find it?

Oddly enough, you have to go looking for it. Some people are motivated by tragic loss, others by gaining someone new in their life - a partner, child or even an inspiring father-in-law. Some people are boundlessly happy; some aren't.

No matter why people start asking themselves big questions, the formula for finding the answers remains the same:

Meet people. Talk to them. Spend time helping others. Spend time alone (note to beginners: "alone" means without Cosmo/Maxim/SI/People/etc - such mental mulch stifles new growth).

Stretch your mind and body. Read. Push yourself to the limit of your physical endurance. Study. Relax a little and have some fun.

You'll see yourself in a clearer light. Your values will become obvious. And those values will help you decide what matters. Once you know that, you'll have your answer.

You can do all this at Temple Emanu-El. Of course, you can do it all elsewhere, too. But at the temple, you have a chance to value the part of you that is Jewish. You can see why that part of you matters and then, finally, you'll be able to see why finding the answer was so important.

What you do with your answer - just like where you look for it - is up to you. It can completely revolutionize your life. It can make you run "to" instead of "away." Your answer can help you do anything you want.